The Hearer Also Has Responsibilities

The responsibilities of the hearer of the message:

1. Always start with where you agree with a speaker.
2. Listen to the message and the heart of the speaker rather than focusing only on the words.
3. Don't get hung up on a word or a phrase that a speaker uses and take them out of context in order to take offense.
4. Check things out with the person directly as to what he or she meant rather than making assumptions.
5. Begin by erring on the side of trusting that the person has a good heart. In Alma 61: 9 in the Book of Mormon Pahoran responds to the chastisement of Captain Moroni by saying, "And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart."
6. Don't be easily offended and remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
7. Stay focused on one's own message and cause and give no heed unto those who would distract you or even attack you.

Those who would be remarkable leaders will be those who take responsibility for what they say AND for the way they listen to what is said by others.

Words Can Come Back And Bite

Comments made by the three major 2008 Presidential candidates and their spouses and supporters over the last few months are a reminder that we need to mean what we say and say what we mean. If we don't it is too easy for others, especially our opponents on issues, to misconstrue what was said as the following examples show.

#1
Michelle Obama--February 18, 2008: "People in this country are ready for change and hungry for a different kind of politics and...for the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback." Note: Obama received rousing applause after making the comment.

February 20, 2008: Clarifying what she said, "What I was clearly talking about was that I'm proud in how Americans are engaging in the political process." When asked if she had always been proud of her country, she replied, "absolutely" and said she and her husband would not be where they are now if not for the opportunities of America.

Jen Psaki, Obama campaign spokeswoman: "...Michelle is proud of her country, which is why she and Barack talk constantly about how their story wouldn't be possible in any other nation on Earth. What she meant is that she's really proud at this moment because for the first time in a long time, thousands of American who've never participated in politics before are coming out in record numbers to build a grassroots movement for change."

Cindy McCain, wife of Pres. candidate John McCain, capitalized on Obama's remark by saying, "I have, and always will be, proud of my country.

Bill Kristol, Weekly Standard Editor: "I think the Democrats have to be careful..they're running against the status quo...You have to be careful not to let that slide into a kind of indictment of America. Because I don't think the American people think on the whole that the last 25 years of American history is a narrative of despair and nothing to be proud of."

#2
Sen.Barack Obama--May 22, 2008: After reiterating his respect for McCains' service in a speech on the Senate floor, Sen. Obama said, "He [John McCain] is one of those heroes which I speak, but I can't understand why he would line up behind the president in his opposition to this GI bill, I can't believe why he believes it is too generous to our veterans. I could not disagree with him and the president more on this issue. There are many issues that lend themselves to partisan posturing, but giving our veterans the chance to go to college should not be one of them."

Sen. John McCain's response: "Perhaps if Obama would take the time and trouble to understand this issue, he would learn to debate an honest disagreement respectfully, but, as he always does, he prefers impugning the motives of his opponent, and exploiting a thoughtful difference of opinion to advance his own ambitions." He also said, "And I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did." Note: McCain did not return to Washington, D. C. for the vote preferring to stay in California to campaign and raise money.

#3
Sen. John McCain at a rally in Stockdale, CA on May 22, 2008: "I have the knowledge and the experience and the judgment to lead this nation. My opponent does not." He then sarcastically praised Obama saying, "I admire and respect Sen. Obama. For a young man with very little experience, he's done very well. I appreciate his very great lack of experience and knowledge of the issue. He's been very successful." Note: A crowd of about 400 laughed.

#4
Sen. Hillary Clinton in an interview with the editorial board of the Argus Leader newspaper in Sioux Fall, S. D. on May 22, 2008: Explaining why she was staying in the Democratic race, Sen. Clinton said, "My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California."

Bill Burton, chief spokesman for Obama campaign: "Senator Clinton's statement before the Argus Leader editorial board was unfortunate and has no place in this campaign."

Sen. Hillary Clinton's clarification of remark: "I regret that if my referencing that moment of trauma for our entire nation, and particularly for the Kennedy family, was in any way offensive. I certainly had no intention of that whatsoever."

Clinton aide: The New York Senator Clinton was merely giving "historical examples of the nominating process going well into the summer," and that reading anything further into her statement was "inaccurate and outrageous."

Mo Elleithee, Clinton campaign spokesperson: "She was simply referencing her husband in 1992 and Bobby Kennedy in 1968 as historic examples of the nominating process going well into the summer. Any reading into beyond that would be inaccurate."



In order for words to carry a message that will put one in a positive light it is crucial that words not carry a sarcastic tone that belittles others, even opponents. Even though others may laugh at the cleverness of the words it will always be somewhat of a nervous laugh because all people seem to instinctively know that using humor to belittle others lessens the credibility of the message bearer.


Even when extreme care is taken for words to convey the intended message it can still be misinterpreted. The three presidential candidates are politicians and two are lawyers so they are experts on word choice and inflection. Yet, even they commit "fau pauxs" and have make apologies and/or have gone back to clarify misunderstandings about what they said. Yet, in spite of the risks and the fact that words can come back and bite, they keep on speaking because they understand the importance of the message and the cause. Putting oneself on the line like this day after day takes a whole lot more courage than waiting until someone else makes a fau paux and then using that as an opportunity to critique the other person's words and/or to use the same words in a different way to make one's self look good.

Even though a speaker bears much responsibility for the words he or she says to convey the intended message the receiver of the message also bears a great responsibility which will be the topic of tomorrow's blog post.

One Would Think I Would Have Known Better!

As I have started to pay more attention and listen to the words I have been saying to myself and others I have been appalled. Over and over again in a whining and complaining manner I've been saying such things as, "Why won't people listen to what I have to share?" and "Why don't people want all that I know?" I have had the attitude that I know a lot about how to improve the education of Hispanic learners--After all, it has been my goal over the last 8 years or so to become an expert on this issue, and I have worked towards that goal paying a heavy price not only financially but with my time, energy, and emotions as well.

It wasn't until Dr. Scott Ferrin who is my professor, the chair of my doctoral committee, and most of all, my friend gently reminded me to be humble that I really heard what I had been saying.

One would think I would have known better! Many of my favorite books throughout my lifetime have been:

• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Norman Vincent Peale
• The 8th Habit by Stephen Covey
• How to Be A Woman of Influence by Pat Williams
• Influencer by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
• Plus many others!

The authors of these books would never recommend I complain and whine about people not listening to me. Although rereading those books might be helpful just reading the principles won't change a thing unless I apply them. Isn't that true of everything?!? It's the difference between being just knowledgeable and being wise.

Ask and ask and ask and ask again

The difference between someone who gets what she wants and one who doesn't is the willingness to keep on asking until one gets that desired "YES" answer. All young children seem to instinctively know this. What child doesn't badger parents until they relent? We seem forget to forget as we become older how powerful this tactic is--or we consider it a childish antic that we must give up.

There is a story in the Bible--Luke 18: 1-7--where a widow went continually to an unjust judge asking him to avenge her of her adversary. He eventually gave into her saying, "Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me."

Sometimes to get to that yes we want we need to take a different route. Nephi and his brothers in the Book of Mormon had to try a variety of methods before they were finally able to obtain the brass plates from Laban that they had been sent to do.

Nephi's brothers, Laman and Lemuel, were ready to give up when the first try didn't work. Then when the second try didn't work they were even more adamant about giving up the errand. Nephi stayed focused on the goal and wasn't about to accept defeat no matter how many "No's" he had to overcome.

One reason we may choose not to be persistent is because we don't want to weary someone with our request. As children we could have cared less if the other person became weary or not. We knew what we wanted. Needless to say, it probably wouldn't be to our advantage to be childish when persistently seeking a yes to a request, but if we can recapture that childlike trait and engage it in a mature way, many more doors will open for us to achieve our goals and desires, especially when they are for a higher cause than ourselves--such as wanting to better serve our diverse learners.

Hypocrisy Raises Its Ugly Head

The Republican Party touts "the sanctity of marriage" as one of its top issues. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It only becomes an issue when the party would have us believe that only Republicans have this value.

Whenever a focus changes from the positive aspects of one's own stance and starts pointing fingers one runs the strong risk of being a hypocrite. The old adage is true that when we are pointing an accusing finger three are pointing back at us.

The political arena is a prime example. Even though the sanctity of marriage is part of the Republican platform there are many skeletons coming to light within the Republican ranks related to adultery, illegitimate children, homosexual solicitations, and involvement with prostitutes. This is not to say that Democrats don't have their share of skeletons, too. They do, but it is the hypocrisy of some Republicans--advocating one thing and doing another-- that is disconcerting.

Then there is President Bush who recently accused some (there seems to be a consensus that he was referring to Sen. Obama although he didn't refer to him by name) while making a speech in Israel of being an appeaser. Making this accusation in another country is troubling in itself, but it is even more troubling when some within Pres. Bush's own Cabinet and army of advisors have made similar comments that would define them to be appeasers, too. Now we have the fiasco over Geraldine Ferraro accusing Sen. Obama of being sexist while in the same breath she is making racist comments.

All of this is a reminder that when we want to win over others to our point of view--whether ii is a political matter or an educational matter-- it is critical that one stick with the facts and the issues. Even though it could be helpful to compare one's view with an opposing view, the point one is trying to make will be much more powerful if the main focus is on the positive aspects of one's own argument rather than on criticizing the other side.

Same "Ole, Same 'Ole

On May 8, 2008 there was an article in the Desert News announcing that Utah Governor Jon Huntsman Jr. was forming a committee to look at how to improve Utah's work force to compete better in a global economy. It was even mentioned in the article that Governor Huntsman recognized that everything that needs to be done starts in the classroom. Although the Governor has identified a worthy goal and has recognized the most important path to achieve it, I was extremely disappointed when I saw the list of the seventeen people he chose to be on his "Globally Competitive Workforce Steering Committee"--same 'ole names and same 'ole faces. Plus, not one minority was chosen.

It is disconcerting and troubling how obsessed our nation has become with the term experience. Our 2008 Presidential Campaign has focused on it. Senator Hillary Clinton's mantra has been that she will be ready on Day One because of her experience. She adds that the nation can't afford to break in a newcomer. Senator John McCain has emphasized that Sen. Barack Obama's simplistic views demonstrate he doesn't have the needed experience or the judgment to make wise decisions. Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has stated that the presidency isn't an internship.

Sen. Obama and Obama supporters are quick to point out that all this "experience" that others supposedly have has led us into the mess we are in and to the continual decline of country and how we are perceived in the world.

This obsession with and emphasis on experience is also part of the education world--The main determinant for how much a teacher is paid is based on his/her years of teaching. Although teaching experience appears to have an influence on student achievement most studies have discovered that the benefits of experience level off after the first five or so years of teaching. There is not a consistent linear relationship between years of teaching experience and student achievement after the initial three years of teaching. In other words, teachers with 20 or more years of teaching are not necessarily more effective than teachers with 7-10 years of teaching. In fact, there is a joke that is more real than funny and that is that some teachers have taught their first year of teaching 25 times.

If we are serious about improving our nation and/or schools, it is critical that we keep the following thoughts in mind:

• Experience by itself isn't always the best answer. Even our founding fathers (and mothers!) had never founded a nation before.
• We need the right definition for experience. Obama told supporters at a Colorado fundraiser that lack of experience in Washington is not necessarily a bad thing--"When you say I don't have enough experience, what you really mean is that I haven't been in Washington long enough. I've been in Washington long enough to know Washington needs to change." Obama's wife, Michelle, noted in a speech that even though her husband doesn't have the check-marked experiences he has the experience that makes a difference noting his work as a community organizer, civil rights lawyer, law professor and state lawmaker.
• Advocating for change is not an indictment against the country or a system such as public schools. Nor is it denying the fact that the United States is the greatest nation in the history of mankind. America and our public school system do have flaws. Living in a fantasy land pretending that all is well will keep us from making the needed changes to move forward.
• All systems need a certain amount of turnover to bring new blood--people from the outside--who can look at the system with new eyes. This is the only way a system avoids becoming stagnant.
• Although experience can be beneficial it also needs a moral compass as Michelle Obama suggests and there needs to be a focus not only on how to achieve positive results but a way to measure if they have been achieved.

In order to improve our nation, our community, and our schools we will need, whether experienced or not, individuals, members of committees, and leaders who are not only "lifelong learners" who are able to be "innovative and creative" but who are also passionate and committed.

Note: The purpose of this posting isn't to endorse Barack Obama.

Important Qualities Versus Rewarded Qualities

Quite a few years ago I learned the importance of writing down the qualities we would like to have and than acting as if we already had them. By doing this four things would happen: 1) We would gravitate to those experiences that would help us develop those qualities, 2) We would gravitate towards people who had those qualities, 3) People who had those qualities or at least valued them would gravitate towards us, and 4) People who did not value those qualities would dismiss and shun us if not outright fight against us.

Although I wrote qualities down many years ago (at least 25!) it has been a long time since I have reviewed them. Yet, they have played a significant role in shaping who I am. In spite of that, it is time I rewrite that list--or at least modify it--as there were some things left off that original list that as I've grown older I've realized are extremely important.

My new modified list statement would be: I am genuine, real, humble and teachable, kind, courteous, trustworthy, honest and a woman of integrity, optimistic, diligent, virtuous seeking only those things that are lovely and of good report and praiseworthy, discerning, patient, long suffering, loving, warm, approachable, compassionate, wise, radiant, curious and interested, respectful, dependable, hard working and a doer, visionary, a great conversationalist and a good communicator, loyal, committed, passionate, learned and knowledgeable, generous, full of faith and confidence, talented, empathetic, forgiving, bold and assertive, reverent, appreciative....and Christlike in all that I do and say with a willingness to sacrifice all that I have in order to serve others regardless of how small my circle of influence may be.

Needless to say I will not perfect these qualities during this earthly experience as it will take an eternity to do so. Yet, the very fact that these are my desires, I must be prepared for the four consequences mentioned earlier. Plus, it is important to recognize and accept the fact that these qualities are not the qualities the world applauds or rewards. In fact, the opposite could occur and even most likely will occur as history reveals what has happened to those who were well on their way to perfecting these qualities. Even Christ who was perfect in every way was trampled upon and crucified.

The Harmful Effects of Greed

A couple of days ago my husband and I watched a section on the Brian Gumbel show about former Derby winners being sent to the slaughterhouse. We actually only watched a portion of the section because when even my husband could no longer stand seeing the cruelty that was being inflicted upon these animals, he changed the channel. Yet, we had seen enough for me to pursue the issue.

I am appalled at what I have discovered. In spite of the fact that 70-85% of Americans are opposed to killing our American horses for overseas human consumption, this inhumane treatment has been able to continue due to two main reasons. First, once many owners have run every last ounce out of their horses, they sell what is left of them at an auction where they hope to get the highest number of bucks possible. Second, there are a small number of powerful lawmakers in Congress who are thwarting the overwhelming sentiment of the American people and being influenced by lobbyists to keep slaughter alive.

The bottom line for both reasons is greed. Not only is this a shameful travesty in regards to horses, a similar travesty is happening when greed trumps what our diverse learners need to help them have the education they need and deserve.

"David" Meets "Goliath"

Last night on Bill Moyers Journal Bill interviewed Melody Petersen. Petersen is a reporter for the New York Times who covered the drug industry for four years, winning one of the highest honors in business journalism--the Gerald Loeb Award. Then she spent another four years researching and writing the book Our Daily Meds: How the Pharmaceutical Companies Transformed Themselves Into Slick Marketing Machines and Hooked the Nation On Prescription Drugs.

When Petersen started to write about the pharmaceutical companies she didn't know a thing about the drug companies and actually thought that they were a lot about science. After all, that's what they were telling the public. Yet, Petersen came to the conclusion after 8 years of writing and researching that it was marketing that drove the companies--selling prescription drugs rather than discovering them had become the industry's obsession.

To help make her point Petersen states a statistic that comes from the Federal Drug Administration that 100,000 Americans die every year from their prescription drugs--that they took just as the doctor directed. This wasn't when a doctor or a pharmacist make a mistake or the patient accidentally took too much.

My reason for sharing this story isn't to promote Peterson's book or even to say that I agree with her although she does make a compelling argument. I learned an important lesson from her as I watched her and listened to her and thought about what she was doing. As we all know the pharmaceutical industry is incredibly powerful.

Petersen explains how the drug companies have used advertising to promote their products. We only have to watch a few minutes of television and watch the ad after ad telling us that there is now a pill for anything and everything that ails us (or that we are made to believe that ails us!). These ads are even more powerful because the industry has learned that the public will be more likely to believe the message if it comes from someone who is trusted to be independent--like a doctor. Many physicians who used to be the gatekeeper who had the interest of his or her patients at heart are now given gifts or cash from the drug companies to participate in the propaganda. The drug company even now pays the FDA to get their drugs reviewed and approved. Adding to this troubling scenario Congress is in the grip of this industry. Petersen reports that in a recent six-year period the drug company spent more on lobbying that any other industry and now employs two lobbyists for every member of Congress.

In spite of the power of the drug company Petersen who is just a young reporter has been willing to fight it. While the majority of people has just accepted the overwhelming power of the drug companies and reconciled itself to the situation, Petersen has chosen to be a "David" who has taken her "slingshot" which is her book to fight this "Goliath."

President Cynthia Bioteau Is Remarkable

President Cynthia Bioteau is the president of Salt Lake Community College in Utah. I had the opportunity to meet her at a luncheon where she spoke. Needless to say, I didn't expect her to remember me, but she did.

Since that first meeting I have seen her at a few functions we have both attended, and we have communicated various times through email. I have always been amazed at how quickly she responds to my emails and how gracious, helpful, and encouraging she always is--in spite of her schedule that can't help but be extremely demanding because of her position.

This trait that Pres. Bioteau exhibits seems to be a trait that all great and remarkable leaders possess. Vicki Mori, the Executive Director of Guadalupe School, and Scott Anderson, President and Chief Executive of Zion's Bank and Dr. Cesar Diaz, President of Hispano/Latino Rotary Club of Salt Lake are three others who exhibit this same trait. I don't believe they developed this trait after they assumed leadership positions. I believe it was this trait (along with others) that made them remarkable leaders even before they ever held a leadership position.

As respectful as we need to be of their time and generosity I've found that when we need something done and accomplished we often need to go straight to the top. Those who aren't at the top who possess this quality of getting things done promptly with graciousness will soon be at the top and those who don't possess it won't stay at the top very long.

Everyone Needs A Julie Eckman

Everyone needs a Julie Eckman in his or her life. Over the 30 plus years I have known Julie Eckman she has blessed my life in numerous ways:

• She sends me a birthday card each year telling me how much she appreciates and treasures our friendship.
• She listens to my dreams and hopes as well as discouragements as if she had nothing else to do in her life.
• She not only buys the book I have written, but she also reads it and shares it with others.
• She supports my many endeavors even when they are more than a little crazy in any way that her health will allow.
• She withholds judgment when my behavior is less than what it should be and focuses instead on my better self and my potential.

Research studies have indicated that people are blessed if they can count on one hand all the true friends they have had in their lifetime. I am blessed that Julie is one of those friends for me. My only regret is that in our limited time together Julie is so busy being this kind of friend to me that I have neglected being that kind of friend to her.

Senator Hillary Clinton Is Already A Winner

In spite of the fact that Sen. Hillary Clinton is behind her opponent Sen. Barack Obama in number of popular votes, pledged delegates, and super delegates in the 2008 presidential democratic election, one would never know it. She looks, acts, and speaks like a winner.

Whether one supports Sen. Clinton or not there is much to learn from her in the way she has handled herself in this intense presidential campaign. For those of us in an intense battle fighting for our diverse learners what can we learn from Sen. Clinton?

1. Stay focused on the goal, not the obstacles even when those obstacles seem insurmountable.
2. Stay focused on one's message and be extremely articulate in presenting that message and make every speech your best speech.
3. Stay positive and never let on to those you are trying to influence in any way that you are discouraged or doubtful.
4. Fight to the end and give no heed to those who would encourage you to quit.
5. Be willing to invest your own resources to achieve what you believe in.
6. Reiterate over and over that you will fight for those who choose you.
7. Be present. In other words, whether speaking to a group or an individual, speak to the one and make each one feel that he or she is the most important person in your life at that moment.
8. Continually thank those who support you and don't focus on those who choose not to support you or who desert you when the going gets tough.
9. Let your compassion for people drive your toughness.

These qualities of Sen. Hillary Clinton have earned her respect from all sides of the political arena, even from those who are strongly opposed to her stands on a variety of issues. She may not win as the Democratic Presidential nominee, but she has already shown that she is a winner and an example for many others to follow.

Note: Senator Hillary Clinton is not my choice for 2008 presidential candidate.

Harvey Mackay's Counsel Pays Off

Harvey Mackay has written a great book called Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty. In this book he discusses the need to be constantly building one's network and nurturing that network.

Paying the price to put into practice the principles Mackay outlines has paid dividends for me numerous times. I experienced one yesterday. A couple of years ago Denece Kitto was added to my network when we served together on Utah Governor Huntsman's Student Achievement Working Group. We have been in contact off and on since that time. Yesterday Denece called me to get some information she needed for an application. Yet, that wasn't the end of the conversation. As we visited about a variety of other individual endeavors we found that not only did we have some similar goals but also each of us had resources that could benefit the other.

It is well-worth the effort to take some time teach day to do the following four things:

1. Adding at least one new person to one's network
2. Updating pertinent information such as birthdates, interests, names of spouse and children, etc. on index cards or another filing system about people in one's network.
3. Contacting at least 1-3 people in one's network through an email, a card, or a telephone call to congratulate, thank, or just to say, "hello."
4. Mending any fences that need mending.

We just never know when someone from within our growing and nurtured network will be just the solution we need or when we might have or be the solution he or she needs.

Wisdom Couched In Silliness and Humor

It seems like I'm watching a lot of movies these days (I am on vacation!) but yesterday my husband gave me a Mother's Day gift--He selected a movie specifically for me for us to watch--Evan Almighty. Even though it was about as silly as you can get I love Morgan Freeman who played God. Plus, there were some words of wisdom couched in between all the humor and silliness.

In one scene "God" gives Evan Baxter's wife the following counsel: "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage does God give him courage or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?"

In another scene "God" asks Evan Baxter: "How do we change the world?" and Evan Baxter answers correctly when he says, "One single act of random kindness at a time" Learning this insight was especially pertinent and significant to Evan Baxter, a Buffalo newscaster who had been elected to Congress on the slogan, "Change the World." The first night he was in Washington Baxter prayed asking God to help him change the world. God heard Baxter and answered his prayer but in an unconventional way that Baxter hadn't expected. Baxter had had an optimistic zeal to change the world through the political system. Yet, the political system has its limitations because often personal agendas or even corruption gets in the way. God knew and Baxter learned that relying only on politicians to solve the world's problems wouldn't be sufficient.

Baxter comes to realize that God has called him to do a work. He exercises faith in that calling even when he others mock him and accuse of him of being crazy. Even for a short time his family leaves him not understanding what is going on with him.

Baxter's faith is also to be admired when taking into account that God hadn't given him a detailed blueprint on how to accomplish what he is being asked to do. At best he was only armed with a sketchy understanding of God's plans. Yet, God reassures Baxter telling him, "Whatever I do, I do because I love you." That love and Baxter's faith are tested when even after the ark is built and the community is ready to dismantle it, no flood comes. Baxter looks up to the sunny sky and expresses his frustration saying to God, "Is it too much to ask for a LITTLE PRECIPITATION?" God answers the prayer with a little precipitation but still no flood.

What Baxter didn't know, but God did, was the flood wasn't going to come because of rain but because of a break in a dam. Baxter learned that God has his own reasons for asking us to do certain things. Therefore, we only need to follow his directions and then leave the outcomes and timing up to him.

Not only did Baxter learn that God had chosen him for a work, but as he told a reporter, "He chose all of us." In other words, each of us has a work to do that we can fulfill if we'll pray to be a change agent, listen to the answer that may be unconventional, and continue to follow the instructions in the answer even if we can't see any results and/or others are mocking or chiding us.

Learning From Rocky

Because I have absolutely no interest in boxing I avoided the Rocky films with Sylvester Stallone. Yet, last night I watched the latest with my husband, Craig. Although I still have no interest in boxing, Rocky Balboa gave some advice to his son in the movie that I desperately needed to hear right now at this time in my life.

"I'd hold you up to say to your mother, 'this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.' And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Just let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life."

Losing Our Bearings

I had the most intriguing dream last night. I was in another city frantically searching for a hotel I had previously visited. After taking a variety of wrong turns I realized I had "lost my bearings." To regain my bearings I needed to stop--remember my goal and develop a reasonable plan on how I was to achieve the goal. After doing that I found the hotel.

I can think of no other reason why I'd have such a dream other than the fact that it was puzzling to me as to why Sen. Barak Obama's comment about Sen. John McCain losing his bearings would be interpreted to have something to do with McCain's age. Anyone at any age can lose his or hear bearings at any time in any situation.

The media has spent hundreds of hours interviewing numerous people trying to figure out what Sen. Obama meant by his comment without ever properly interpreting what the phrase losing your bearings means. It's a reminder to all of us to be cautious about the amount of time we waste trying to interpret a phrase someone else may have used, especially when we aren't even basing it on a correct definition of the phrase. This wasted time could have been used in a much more productive manner discussing important issues at hand whether in a presidential race or in our own personal encounters.

Margaret Mead Would Be Impressed!

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed it's the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead

Last night I had the privilege to attend a very special celebration. Rotary Club of Hispano-Latinos of Salt Lake was celebrating its first anniversary.

Even though this club has only been in existence a year and consists of only 15 members, it is a dynamic organization that is making a difference-- locally and internationally. Just take a look at this list:

• December 2006 the club provided Christmas to 3,000 Hispanic children in need.
• 2006-2008 the club participated in the Dictionary Project to provide dictionaries to 3rd graders in inner city schools.
• November 2007 the club organized its first international project in Cuba! It distributed over 2,000 pounds of school supplies, 5 wheel chairs, 500 glasses, and clothing and shoes to different schools.
• December 2007 the club held another successful toy drive for needy Hispanic children.
• June 2007 the club sponsored its first international exchange student

I know the members of this club quite well because I have attended a number of their meetings and festivities because on top of all these other impressive endeavors the club has supported my Lovejoy's Libros project to get books in Spanish and/or English into the hands and homes of our Hispanic students, the majority of which have NO books in their homes.

The club is not resting on its laurels. It already has plans for this coming June to provide Emergency Humanitarian Aid with the help of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to the state of Chiapas, Mexico to help more than 4,000 people in 8 small villages who were affected by the floods and destruction in that area.

A HUGE thank you to the leaders and members of the Rotary Club of Hispano-Latinos of Salt Lake for being an inspiration and an example for all of us to follow. Margaret Mead would be impressed!

Knowledge Is Power--Especially When We Share It!

Many years ago I heard the truism that knowledge is power. Yet, I have come to realize as others have that knowledge that is shared is even more powerful. By sharing knowledge both individuals grow in their knowledge and expertise.

Dr. Stephen Covey recommends that when we have learned something new that we share it with someone else within 24-48 hours. This sharing will not only reinforce what we have learned we will benefit from what others share in return. In other words, the more knowledge wealth we share, the more knowledge wealth we gain.

My good friend and colleague, Michelle Bachman, and I have come across one way we can do this on a regular basis. We have decided that both of us will read the book Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts and share our ideas, impressions, insights, etc. via email. This is not only a way to increase our knowledge but it is also a way to keep in touch with friends who enrich our lives and expand our horizons.

Who Is Qualified?

I had an experience yesterday that has caused me to contemplate what it means to be qualified for a position. I feel that at times we put too much stock in credentials and formal education, particularly in the education field (there could be others as well but my main experience has been with education).

It is my opinion that too often people jump through the hoops to get credentialed, and they manage to become credentialed without becoming educated and/or effective. If all it took was credentials for educators to become effective, we wouldn't be facing the education crisis we are now facing.

None of this is to say that I don't value education per se. In fact I value it so much it is disheartening to see how schooling can destroy education. It is also disheartening when so much emphasis is put on credentials that a self-educated person who is passionate and committed might be discounted or overlooked who could possibly be even more effective in a position.

It's Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings

When thinking about our nation it is critical to remember that this nation is a work in progress. Throughout the relatively short history of the United States God has raised up some of His most noble men and women to move forward the divine mission of this nation--line upon line. It spite of being chosen by God they, like the rest of us, were imperfect people who stumbled along making mistakes and taking wrong turns. They, as Joseph Ellis says, "... were improvising without a script in a historical drama without a known conclusion." (p. 22) In other words, our history was their present so they didn't have the luxury of hindsight.

In spite of their weaknesses and imperfections there is no doubt that God used them anyway to do His work in His way. Therefore, it is a sad when there are those who choose to vilify these great men and women because they often held the wrong assumptions and prejudices of the persons of their time and place in history.

Frederick Douglass was one person who understood this as revealed through the speech Oration in Memory of Abraham Lincoln that he gave April 14, 1876 at the unveiling of the Freedmen's Monument in Memory of Abraham Lincoln 11 years after Lincoln's assassination. Although Douglass acknowledged in this speech that Lincoln was a white man in his interests, associations, habits of thought, and prejudices that were common to his countrymen towards the colored race, he also acknowledged that Abraham Lincoln was at the head of the great movement that would forever abolish slavery in the United States. Douglass also recognized that the fact that they were able to assemble in peace in front of this monument was "... a compliment and credit to American civilization, and a prophecy of still greater national enlightenment and progress in the future." (p. 1)

As the saying goes in relationship to an opera that it isn't over until the fat lady sings, our nation's divine mission isn't yet complete. As our noble, yet imperfect, predecessors fulfilled their part in moving forward the divine mission of this nation so must each of us now do our part in spite of our weaknesses and imperfections.


References

Ellis, J. J. (2007). American Creation. New York: Random House, Inc.

Douglass, F. (1876). Oration in Memory of Abraham Lincoln. Retrieved May 6, 2008 from the World Wide Web: http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?documentprint=39

It Only Takes A Minute Or Two

A couple of weeks ago I called my dear friend, Kate Asbill, seeking her advice on a dilemma that was causing me much anguish. This busy woman gave me her full attention for about an hour listening as if she had nothing else to do but listen to me. Because she was listening to my heart she was able to offer wise words of counsel that helped me to see how my behavior might be contributing to the unpleasant situation. After all, that is what I wanted--advise on how to better the situation not have someone share a "pity and ain't it awful party" with me.

Kate's kindness did not end once the telephone conversation ended. She followed up with a handwritten encouraging note written in a friendship card with the reminder, "When life gives you rain, God gives you rainbows." Then yesterday I received an email from her asking how things were going with my dilemma and reminding me to hang in there. She also included some humor that made me laugh sharing that it has been proven that if we look at the color yellow for 18 seconds our spirits will be lifted, and she knew that it was true because she had read it in the Enquirer.

The dilemma I was facing has not disappeared but Kate's kindnesses that didn't take her more than a minute or two to show her friendship and support give me that added strength to keep on trudging with a positive outlook.

P.S. By the way I did follow Kate's advise and looked at the color yellow for 18 seconds +...and it did lift my spirits! Maybe the Enquirer does contain some truth once in awhile.

Be Wary of the Experts

Yesterday on the Journal Bill Moyers interviewed Victor Navasky and Christopher Cerf, founders of the Institute of Expertology and co-authors of the books The Experts Speak and Mission Accomplished! Or How We Won the War in Iraq the latter being an in-depth study and analysis of five years of expert commentary on the Iraq War.

The interview centered around the point that the experts agreed on various points surrounding the Iraq War that all turned out to be wrong-- such things as that the war would only take a few months or maybe only weeks, not much sacrifice would be required, the financial cost would be minimal, civilian casualties would be few, and there would be little damage to Iraq's infrastructure.

Although the interview was about experts in relationship to the Iraq War, I felt there were some lessons to be learned that could be applied to education experts. For example, in asnwer to Bill Moyers questions as to who decides who is an expert and what makes an expert, the two authors answered:

• If you are in the government, you are by definition an expert--specifically heads of departments who are supposed to know what they are talking about. They added that you if you disagree with someone in the government you are believed to be unpatriotic and any expertise you may have becomes suspect.
• Experts also include scholars, pundits, and columnists--people who have positions of status and power.
• People are believed to be experts who proclaim their expertise. Some do it directly. Others use jargon, announce the number of their published articles, use their titles, or by their uniforms.

The authors made some other points about expertise that could also apply to education experts:

• Expertise seems to be passed from one generation of powerful people to another.
• They borrow each other's language and reinforce each other's message.
• They are arrogant in their erroneousness.
• They have contempt for those who don't agree with them or who they don't consider worthy.
• Claim that a situation is not their fault and blame someone or something else,
• If they are proven to be wrong, they just continue to say what they said previously but in different ways.
• They find ways --even outlandish at times--to dismiss findings that don't support preconceived beliefs.
• People who are in charge of promoting others promote people who come from the same power environment and reaffirm the core beliefs they had in the first place.

Needless to say not all experts fit this description, but we would be wise to be wary of those who do.

Talents Unlimited

Yesterday afternoon I attended a reception sponsored by the Mexican Consulate at Salt Lake City's historic City County Building. The purpose of the reception was to kickoff the 12th annual "Este Es Mi México" (This is my Mexico) art contest conducted by the Mexican Department of Foreign Affairs.

The walls of the first floor of the building are now decorated with the framed artwork of some of the almost 6000 Mexican children between 7 and 11 years old now living all over the world who participated in the 2007 contest. In their drawings the children expressed what Mexico means to them--its history, culture, landscapes, people, and holidays. I have visited a variety of art galleries and art shows in my life, but none touched my heart like this one. There is no doubt that some of these children have artistic talent, but it wasn't that that moved me. There is something about children's uninhibited artwork which captures the heart.

It wasn't only the children's artwork that made this reception such a delightful experience. The recently formed Mariachi band from Northwest Middle School provided the entertainment. Not only was the talent of these young people impressive, but this band had special meaning for me.

Last year I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Javier Saenz who had a dream to start a Mariachi Band in a school with a high Hispanic population. It touched my heart so much to see that his dream had become a reality. Many young people will reap the benefits from his perseverance to realize that dream.

Both the artwork and the Mariachi Band are strong reminders that when our desires are to bless the lives of children, rather than to promote some personal vain ambition, nothing is impossible.

Confronting Social Injustices

In the book The Tale of Two Cities, the author Charles Dickens begins by criticizing the aristocrats' treatment of the poor people of France--the shameless corruption, abuse, and inhumanity of the French nobles towards the peasantry. Even "church leaders entertained themselves with some 'humane' actions as sentencing a youth to have his hands cut off, his tongue torn out with princers, and his body burned alive--because he had not kneeled down, in the rain, to honor a procession of monks some fifty or sixty yards away." Dickens ends by noting that the same social atrocities occur even when the power shifts from the aristocrats to the lower classes--the masses, oppressed for centuries, rise up at last and destroy their masters becoming themselves just as evil and corrupt.

There is always a danger that this scenario could happen when social injustices are confronted, especially if a person or a people focuses on his or their victimization. Therefore, when confronting social injustices it would be wise to do so in a spirit of reconciliation and forgiveness rather than in a spirit of revenge and retaliation. It is only through the former that everyone can start to heal and move forward--and thus, break the unproductive cycle.

Nobility In the Worst of Times

"It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom; it was the age of foolishness. It was the season of Light; it was the season of Darkness. It was the spring of hope; it was the winter of despair. Some people had everything to look forward to, while others had nothing to look forward to--much like today." Charles Dickens--Tale of Two Cities

I had the opportunity yesterday to watch the Tale of Two Cities, a movie based on one of my most favorite books. There are so many characters with whom I fall in love, but none more so than Sydney Carton. Even though Carton is an alcoholic and a cynic it is he who ends up paying the ultimate sacrifice--willingly laying down his life so another might live.

Carton is a reminder that living in the worst of times can bring out the noble in people, even in those who seem to be the most unlikely.