Identity: It's Not Either Or

Did you hear about the time when a president went to visit a nursing home?

He walked up to a lady in a wheel chair and tried to be polite, but found that he wasn't being very successful at carrying on a conversation with her. Finally, in desperation he said, "Ma'am, do you know who I am?" She answered, "No, sir, I don't know who you are--but if you go up to that desk, they can tell you."


Everyone wants to be recognized and appreciated for who they are. Belonging is a strong need for each of us.


An article was posted on November 27, 2007 at charlotte.com about Hispanics joining gangs that describes very well what happens when this sense of belonging is not met. Although the following information comes from N.C., the facts are similar to what other states are facing:

• Hispanic youth struggling to find acceptance in U.S. culture are increasingly turning to gangs and other destructive behavior seeking a sense of belonging.


• In N.C. more than half of Hispanic girls are expected to be pregnant before their 20th birthday (and I'll add that too many of them will be unwed mothers).


• More than 40% of N.C. youth say they have faced ethnic discrimination, often from classmates.


• Some Hispanic students are four to five years behind academically, and they are illiterate in their native language.


• Educators often write off students who join gangs.

The article ends by quoting William Lassiter, manager of the state's Center for the Prevention of School Violence: "The big misconception is that these kids are not savable, that once they're in, they're info life. That's just not true. We need to ask ourselves: How do we serve these kids better?"

In order to serve these kids better, it is critical that we recognize is that young people who are made to feel that they have to sacrifice one culture for another experience a feeling of not truly fitting in anywhere.

Researchers have identified four choices our diverse students have in regards to this

1. Separation: Cultural learners choose to retain their original culture and avoid interaction with the dominant culture.


2. Assimilation: Cultural learners reject their original culture and seek to identify only with the dominant culture.


3. Integration: Cultural learners seek to maintain aspects of their original culture as well as the dominant culture.


4. Marginalization: Cultural learners show little interest in having cultural ties with either their original culture or the dominant culture.

Research demonstrates that cultural learners who choose integration glean the greatest benefits. When they can bridge the two cultures of their lives, they have higher self-esteem, even when facing apparent discrimination. Also, according to researcher, Dr. Patricia Gándara, "...the most academically successful students were those who remained most closely allied with the culture of their parents." Recent research show that many first and second generation immigrant children are successful not because they relinquish their traditional ways but because they draw strength from their home culture and a positive sense of their eithnic identity.

If we are to better serve our Hispanic youth, it is crucial that we respond to what the research suggests and do "whatever it takes" so they are able to integrate. If we don't, they are left with the other options, none of which is productive. Choosing marginalization is especially detrimental because living in "no man's land" makes joining and belonging to a gang very attractive.

It's also important to remember that for youth to be able to draw strength from two cultures can only make their lives richer.

NOTE: There are two websites that I highly recommend where more ideas can be found on what is needed to give Hispanic youth tools that they need to avoid gangs: www.richardrramos.com and www.bullies2buddies.com Richard Ramos is the author of Got Gangs? and Izzy Kalman is the author of Bullies to Buddies.

Spiritual Leaders Understand "Belonging"

We, as human beings, have a longing to belong. Feeling that we belong provides comfort and security as well as conveying that our lives have meaning and value. This helps explain why people, especially our young people, go to such lengths to belong---even if that means joining a gang. And then we see the disastrous results that can occur when one doesn't feel that he/she belongs anywhere--suicides, eating disorders, drug abuse, killing sprees, unwed teen mothers, etc.

It is crucial that we do all we can to help our diverse students feel a sense of belonging in our schools. With all the hype about immigration even so far as people telling immigrants, even young people, to go home because we don't want them here doesn't convey to them a sense of belonging. Sadly, we even have educators who have this attitude. Ironically, some of these young people (and adults!) are home--this is the only country they know and they don't even speak their 1st language. A majority of them are U.S. citizens.

Maslow has belonging as the second rung of his hierarchy ladder, and Dr. William Glasser lists it as one of the five needs we all have in his "Choice Theory" for Quality Schools. Dr. William Purkey and Invitational Education elaborate on specifics schools can do to make schools inviting for ALL studnets, and thus provide a sense of belonging.

Clarence W. Joldersma from Calvin College has a chapter in the book Nurturing and Reflective Teachers that provides some new light on what it means in regards to the uniqueness of our students. He suggests that valuing uniqueness doesn't mean focusing on differences, or even similarities, but realizing that each child regardless of his/her contribution is irreplaceable as an image bearer of God--someone chosen by God "to be." [and therefore, belongs!] He goes on to say that educators serve God by pedagocally ministering to the needs of each student within his/her stewardship.

Spiritual leaders understand this need for belonging that each person within his/her stewardship has and therefore, will commit to do " whatever it takss," for each and everyone within his/her stewardship to have this need met.